Creeping up to 7 miles now

I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself these last few days. I read the training book that was given out. I see that this Saturday’s long run will be 7 miles. I must admit that I felt slight twinge of fear arise – 7 miles, already? Uh oh maybe I’ve bitten off more than I can chew signing up for the intermediate group. Really I’m novice level based on the description that I read. However, I wanted to push myself to go to another level. I want to run and push it – I’m concerned that I would get injured. I combat that by educating myself with appropriate stretches. I’ve been running consistently and it’s really making an impact on my ability and strength. When I am running after 3 miles and I’m feeling good listening to Madonna on my ipod… nothing is better than than – it’s a drug for both the mental and physical. Of course that’s the byproduct. Sometimes to get there you’ve got to hit a few places where you are worn and tired and just don’t want to go another mile… THAT place is the beginning of the “wall” that can trip a runner up. It’s why I am running – to run head forward into that WALL and pull my ass over that wall once and forall. Because it’s hard. Because THAT very wall is the same wall that I’ve met many times in many forms through many mirrors and reflects in the people and experiences of my life. And when it defeated me in life, I lost. I have definitely made the easy choice. So I’m doing a marathon because it’s the antithesis of easy. I want to face and conquer that wall so that I never surrender to it again. That painful, suffering wall. That wall lives in the marathon – both during training and race. I can’t ever let it win again. Because I’m not traditionally a wall breaker. That is why I HAVE to run this marathon. It’s already meaning more to me than I could have imagined. How many times I didn’t push myself when things got hard… I’m such a late bloomer to the “challenge yourself and face your fear” model of living. Those are the winners the ones who don’t run away. The ones that find a way to get over or through that wall. And when you make it a physical challenge – there’s no faking it. You can hide to others with your mind, but not physically. You either run or you don’t. You win or you lose. It’s out there for everyone to see. Makes me wonder why I told anyone I wanted to run the marathon. Should have kept my big mouth shut.